Most Advisors Aren’t Great Mentors
What’s the Difference Between Startup Advisors and Mentors, and How Do You Become a Great Mentor?
If you’re starting a tech company, you’ve probably heard people say, “You need good advisors and mentors.” But what do those roles really mean? Are they the same thing? And what if you want to become one someday?
Let’s break it down in simple terms.
Advisors vs. Mentors: They’re Not the Same Thing
Advisors and mentors both help startup founders, but in different ways. Think of it like this:
- An advisor helps your business.
- A mentor helps you, the person.
They may seem similar, but their purpose, involvement, and relationship with you are very different.
What Is a Startup Advisor?
A startup advisor usually has specific expertise, like marketing, finance, product design, fundraising, or how to penetrate an industry or company. You might bring them on to help solve a particular problem or give advice in an area where you don’t have experience. You can also think of advisors as subject matter experts.
Here are a few things that make advisors unique:
- They usually have a formal role, often with a signed agreement.
- They may get equity (a small ownership share) in exchange for helping you.
- They focus on strategy, not your emotions or leadership growth.
- You may only meet with them once a month or when needed.
- They go deep on their area of expertise, not you or the team.
Advisors often answer questions based on their experience. Their help is usually focused, efficient, and for a limited time. You might email them, schedule a short call, or meet briefly to get their take on a tactical decision. They invest a small amount of time and usually only need to understand one part of your company.
For example, if you need help pricing your product or preparing for an investor meeting, an advisor might guide you based on what’s worked for them in the past.
What Is a Startup Mentor?
A tech startup mentor is more like a coach, guide, or trusted friend who’s been through the startup journey before. They don’t just help you fix business problems; they help you become a better founder and leader.
Here are a few key things mentors do:
- They ask you questions, instead of giving quick answers.
- They care about your growth as a person, not just as a business owner.
- They’re not in it for the money or ask for equity.
- They may meet with you often, especially when you’re uncertain.
- They help you think clearly, not just act fast.
Here’s a major difference: mentors invest significant time. They want to understand you, not just your business. A great mentor takes time to learn about your values, goals, team dynamics, and personal challenges. They stay with you through ups and downs, not just when things are exciting or successful.
They might ask:
- “What’s keeping you up at night?”
- “What’s your customer really trying to solve?”
- “What are you assuming here, and is it true?”
- “Can you describe your customer discovery interview process?”
Mentors are there to guide your thinking, not give you a checklist. Their time investment is deeper and more relational. They care not just about what you’re doing, but who you’re becoming as a founder.
Why You Need Both
Most great startup founders build a support system, including mentors and advisors. Here’s why:
- Advisors help you move fast and make choices in their area of expertise.
- Mentors help you grow into a leader who can navigate change, failure, and scale.
One helps your startup succeed. The other guides your journey to success.
You can’t scale a company without growing yourself; good mentors help you do that.
How to Become a Great Mentor for Tech Startups
You don’t need to be a billionaire or have sold a company to become a valuable mentor. In fact, great mentors most often say less and listen more. They have been a founder or one of the first five employees.
They care about others’ success. They are curious, inquisitive, empathetic, experienced but humble, available and committed, trustworthy, encouraging but honest, vulnerable, respectful of the founder’s autonomy, connective, and strategic thinkers. They must be willing to share past f…ups, leave their ego at the door, and be comfortable fighting their urge to advise.
Here are some ways to become a great mentor, whether you’re a few steps ahead or just starting your journey.
Be Curious, Not Controlling
Great mentors don’t tell founders what to do. Instead, they ask a series of good, probing questions using the Socratic Method or the 5 Whys Method:
- “What’s the real goal here?”
- “Have you talked to enough customers?”
- “What’s the smallest thing you can test next?”
When you ask instead of tell, you help the founder learn, not just react.
Listen Deeply
Sometimes, founders don’t need advice. They need someone to really hear them. Being a great listener means:
- Not interrupting
- Asking follow-up questions
- Reflecting what you heard
For example: “It sounds like you’re unsure about this decision. What’s the part that feels off to you?”
Share Your Mistakes
You don’t need to be perfect. In fact, talking about your failures can help founders feel less alone.
Say things like:
- “When I was at that stage, here’s what I got wrong…”
- “I thought I knew the answer, but I learned the hard way…”
This builds trust, and it makes your advice more real.
Keep It About Them
Don’t make mentoring about your ego. The founder’s journey is not your second chance to be CEO. Great mentors:
- Don’t talk over founders
- Don’t try to “take credit”
- Respect the founder’s vision, even if they do it differently than you would
Remember: your job is to help them succeed on their terms, not yours. This does not mean endless investment in a relationship that doesn’t value your wisdom and time.
Know When to Step Back
A great mentor knows when to stay silent and let the founder struggle through it. That’s how learning happens.
Let them make decisions, even wrong ones. Be there afterward to help them reflect and improve.
That’s how leaders are built. That is how you were built.
Final Thoughts
Advisors and mentors play essential roles in the startup world, but they are different.
- Advisors help with what to do and usually focus on a small slice of the business.
- Mentors help with why and how and commit time to understand the founder, the venture, and the big picture.
If you’re a founder, build relationships with both. And if you’re someone with experience, consider becoming a mentor. It’s not about having all the answers; it’s about asking the right questions and making the time to demonstrate that you care.
Those in #OpticsValley (Oro Valley and broader Tucson), Startups Zones offers training to those interested in honing their mentor skills. Click Here for More Information.